What is my parenting style?? Do I have one? – I suppose we all do – but do I fit in a “box”? I got to ruminating on this today – as I was sat cuddling my poorly girl – allowing her to eat rubbish on my lap and be carried everywhere … sorry Bump – you were a bit of a sofa today!
I remembered a while back talking with a group of Mum’s and thinking what our Mumstar names would be … you know like the Spice Girls: Posh, Baby, Sporty … if we translated those into our Mumstar names what would we be and I was really struck that everyone’s suggestions for me were quite earthy … EarthMama I think I ended up as.
If someone had asked me prior to kids what I thought I my parenting style would be I’m not sure I could label it. I had visions of routines, contented babies going down well at night, perfect post bath snuggles and a book before bed, kids eating well and healthily … because I had this thing nailed – you know all the stuff you believe before you have kids so people actually HAVE kids. Then you learn the reality!
I know the kind of Mummy I aspire to be – crafty, outdoorsy, gentle, nurturing and I work bloomin hard to be all those things.
I have learnt far more about myself in the last 4 years than in the last 34! I have learnt that some days you can nail it – have the perfect day, no dramas, everyone’s happy, well fed (good wholesome food), no meltdowns, asleep on time … I think this has happened 3 times in T’s lifetime … and I class that as winning!!
Most [ok all] days I have learnt there is compromise. It’s how you navigate and react to the challenging moments that make the difference between an aaahhh day and an uurrgh day.
As Little S is full of cold and unwell anything could tip her over the edge today – to be honest I found a store of patience I didn’t know I had! Having been up for hours in the night for the last week comforting her I was running on empty – absolutely saved by Daddy this morning who got up and left me sleeping – that one and a half hours meant I could at least function at a reasonable level!
Did we go outside today – nope.
Did we do any crafting today – nope.
Did we eat well today – nope.
Did we have any kind of routine today – nope.
Did we have meltdowns today – yep
Did I spend enough time with T when he was back from school – Nope
Did I do any housework today – nope.
Did I do a single thing on my to do list today – nope.
Do I feel bad about any of this – NOPE!
Because I have finally accepted that some days will be crappy and THAT’S OK!
I stuck to my core value as a Mummy – gentleness. I responded to S and her needs in the way she needed me to. Sure I wasn’t there for T enough but I made sure Daddy was & made a big fuss and I made sure he knew I was super proud of him.
Isn’t it funny that clarity can often come out of a day that seems to be one of the hardest. I’m proud of me today… & I’m having a Becks [Blue!] to celebrate!
My message to my future self when I read this back (& any other Mummies reading) is …