Gentle Parenting

Parenting Style & The Tough Days

What is my parenting style?? Do I have one? – I suppose we all do – but do I fit in a “box”?  I got to ruminating on this today – as I was sat cuddling my poorly girl – allowing her to eat rubbish on my lap and be carried everywhere … sorry Bump – you were a bit of a sofa today!

I remembered a while back talking with a group of Mum’s and thinking what our Mumstar names would be … you know like the Spice Girls: Posh, Baby, Sporty … if we translated those into our Mumstar names what would we be and I was really struck that everyone’s suggestions for me were quite earthy … EarthMama I think I ended up as.

If someone had asked me prior to kids what I thought I my parenting style would be I’m not sure I could label it. I had visions of routines, contented babies going down well at night, perfect post bath snuggles and a book before bed, kids eating well and healthily … because I had this thing nailed – you know all the stuff you believe before you have kids so people actually HAVE kids. Then you learn the reality!

I know the kind of Mummy I aspire to be – crafty, outdoorsy, gentle, nurturing and I work bloomin hard to be all those things.

Parenting quote to live by. Be yourself and realise not everyday can be a great one ... click through to read about the tough days ...

I have learnt far more about myself in the last 4 years than in the last 34! I have learnt that some days you can nail it – have the perfect day, no dramas, everyone’s happy, well fed (good wholesome food), no meltdowns, asleep on time … I think this has happened 3 times in T’s lifetime … and I class that as winning!!

Most [ok all] days I have learnt there is compromise. It’s how you navigate and react to the challenging moments that make the difference between an aaahhh day and an uurrgh day.

Parenting can be tough, amazing, whether you have a baby, toddler, preschooler, school age or teenagers each stage comes with it's own challenges, advice and blessings. Mummying remains constant. Approach with humour, acceptance and humility

As Little S is full of cold and unwell anything could tip her over the edge today – to be honest I found a store of patience I didn’t know I had!  Having been up for hours in the night for the last week comforting her I was running on empty – absolutely saved by Daddy this morning who got up and left me sleeping – that one and a half hours meant I could at least function at a reasonable level!

Did we go outside today – nope.

Did we do any crafting today – nope.

Did we eat well today – nope.

Did we have any kind of routine today – nope.

Did we have meltdowns today – yep

Did I spend enough time with T when he was back from school – Nope

Did I do any housework today – nope.

Did I do a single thing on my to do list today – nope.

Do I feel bad about any of this – NOPE!


Because I have finally accepted that some days will be crappy and THAT’S OK!

I stuck to my core value as a Mummy – gentleness.  I responded to S and her needs in the way she needed me to. Sure I wasn’t there for T enough but I made sure Daddy was & made a big fuss and I made sure he knew I was super proud of him.

Isn’t it funny that clarity can often come out of a day that seems to be one of the hardest.  I’m proud of me today… & I’m having a Becks [Blue!] to celebrate!

My message to my future self when I read this back (& any other Mummies reading) is …

Self care and mindfulness is so imporant. Curate your thoughts and be kind to yourself. Be positive and grateful. Parenting can be tough but the blessings are great.

Love Ali x

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