Being Me Gentle Parenting Mindset

Valuing yourself to give your children self belief.

I absolutely believe one of the greatest gift we can give our children is the power of positive thinking.  But are we falling into the trap of letting our children down by praising and encouraging THEM but putting ourselves down? 

We need to value ourselves to effectively model and teach them the power of self belief.

I am 100% fully committed to building self confidence in my kids.  My wish for them is they grow up positive and happy.  As a natural pessimist I am on a journey to checking my internal thought processes until this becomes habit. I KNOW there is an optimist in here somewhere – I just lost her a bit for a while!

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Fiona Harrold in her amazing book shares Natalie’s story (seriously, if you haven’t read it try it out!). A woman with “powerful, positive self images” who is “quietly confident and excited about life”. And is now a “charismatic person who is a delight to all who know her”. With a “natural resilience that allows her to bounce back from setbacks and disappointments”. Apparently Natalie “moves through life with a light touch, attracting the right people and opportunities”. 

Making a very clear distinction that Natalie is neither smug, arrogant nor seeing herself as in any way superior. Characteristics Harrold points out actually “belong to people who actually feel bad about themselves” & “Natalie simply has a healthy appreciation of her qualities and talents and a natural confidence that carries her through life”.

Raising kids with the self confidence, values and belief that they can acheive everything they want from life. Encouraging and nurturing them to be the very best version of themselves.

So basically everything I want for my kids [& myself!]. I am not talking about arrogance or believing they are OWED a life of success. Rather that I can instill in them the power to believe in themselves and their abilities. So they KNOW they an BE or DO anything they want to.

There used to be a saying calling parents “helicopter parents” – always hovering over their kids.

I recently came across the term “Lawnmower parents”.  Parents so focussed on seeing their kids succeed that they mow down any obstacles before children come across them.

Self belief for kids - never let it fade

Really what we should be doing is teaching our children the necessary skills to get around / over/ smash those obstacles to achieve their goals.

Are we a generation of parents stopping our kids living a fulfilled and happy life by being over protective in their formative years?

I don’t believe we can “spoil” our children by showing them love and affection. In fact I shower affection on my kids at every given opportunity whilst they are still young enough to allow me too!  After all that is one of the greatest joys of parenting isn’t it?

By the same token I am regularly heard saying “I believe in you”, “Have you given it a big try?” If they still can’t sort out what’s happening we go to “let’s try teamwork”. So although I am helping them they are contributing to the solution. Building problem solving skills early on.

My wish is my kids to grow up knowing they are unique. That they recognise their own special talents and believe they are able to be or do anything they put their minds too.

So why oh why can I not give myself the same grace and value?  Why am I allowing my limiting beliefs and inner critic to win over?

Moreover – the less I back myself – what example am I setting for them?

I have made significant shifts in mindset recently and am truly grateful I have committed to personal growth in a way I have never done before.  By changing my goals to align with my values I have already started to feel that sense of inner peace.

I guess the realisation that how I perceive myself and treat myself; value myself is not only reflecting on me – but on my children too is the greatest motivation of all.

Have you had an epiphany moment too?  What’s made you stop in your tracks and realise our relationship with ourselves is the barometer by which others treat us too?

Food for thought?

Love Ali x

PS if you are struggling with yur mindset or want to bring more positivity into your day gratitude tracking and affirmations might be for you! I have a free printable gratitude tracker which you can grab here or fill in the form below 🙂

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